Oh. My. God.

I've never done anything more difficult than what we did last night. Sadly, 30 minutes was not all she cried. She cried off and on until 5:30 or so, in my estimation. We had to go get her once, around 1 am... she seemed to be in a fit that wasn't going to go away. We thought she was genuinely hungry, but she really wasn't. Then after that soothing, she had kind of another fit, but she did calm down from it. My feelings are so mixed up. On the one hand, she doesn't seem to hate us this morning, and that's good. On the other hand, she wasn't quite as miraculous as some in the book - she didn't have many smiles this morning, though she was pleasant and not fussy, and lasted almost an hour and a half. On the gripping hand, we gotta do this again tonight. And tomorrow night, and so on. Plus naps. Sigh. I think (hope, pray, beg) that tonight will be a tiny bit easier, simply because we've lived through one now and can see that she's survived the night and doesn't hate us and all that. But if it's easier, it'll only be a little bit easier. Of that, I am fairly certain.