You're standing on my neck

We began night #2 of CIO Operation: Heartbreak with great hopes. They lasted about an hour. Then, the Peanut spent about 40 minutes off and on crying, screaming, wailing, and shrieking. Then she went back to sleep. I'm chronicling all of this for a few reasons. One, if we ever have to do this again, I'm hoping to be able to remind myself that it was horrible, but it did get better. Two, a year from now when it's all over, I want to look back on it and have a good chuckle. "Remember how much that sucked and how much we wanted to die? HA! Ah yeah, good times... good times." Last night was amazingly horrible. Tonight, listening to her cry was not one iota easier. And it won't be for the rest of the night, either, I'm sure. The one weapon I do have against the crying is that I'm absolutely exhausted after the past night of barely any sleep. I find that I talk to the wife about this stuff almost to the exclusion of everything else. I think partly we're justifying the decision to each other, but we're also trying to strengthen each other, to help each other through it. And the thing I keep in the back of my head is that if we go in there now, if we give in and break down, then all the pain we've experienced up until now will have been for nothing. That is something I cannot accept. Our personal sacrifices in this ordeal will not be in vain. It's become cliche now, but truly, the only option we have now is to stay the course. It's just so friggin' hard.